Mike Fasano Proposes to Lifelong Invisible Girlfriend
On Tuesday, Pasco tax collector Mike Fasano popped the question to his nameless lifelong invisible girlfriend. After the proposal, Fasano tweeted a picture of himself […]
Articles by The Pasco Pelican
County Says Not Enough Pawn Shops on US-19; Mandates 1 Per 200 Feet
On Wednesday, Pasco County commissioners passed a resolution mandating 1 pawn shop per 200 feet along US-19. The commissioners said the decision was due to […]
George W. Bush Refuses to Sign Football After Gus Bilirakis Mistakes Him for Tim Tebow
On Friday, representative Gus Bilirakis happened to meet former president George W. Bush in Washington DC. However, he mistook the former president as Tim Tebow, […]
New York Native’s Whine Cracks Neighbors’ Windows
On Friday, New York native and Port Richey resident Michael Rigatoni was going about his business as usual, including whining about Florida, when he unleashed […]
Jack Mariano Gets Bad Case of Tennis Elbow While Standing in Front of Virtual American Flag
On Thursday, Jack Mariano developed a bad case of tennis elbow while standing in front of a large virtual American flag. It’s currently unclear how […]
Local Teens Break Into Abandoned Hudson K-Mart; Discover It’s Still Open
On Thursday, a group of Pasco teens broke into the abandoned K-Mart off of US-19 in Hudson, only to discover that it is still open. […]
Gus Bilirakis Heard Whispering “My Precious” After Finding Mysterious Ring at Event
Concerns are rising after Congressman Gus Bilirakis found a mysterious gold ring at a campaign event on Tuesday. Bystanders say that Bilirakis’ countenance “immediately changed” […]
Friedman : Hudson Flea Market Closure is ‘Beginning of the End’ of US Economy
On Friday, world-renowned economist Milton Friedman predicted that the US economy will crash in a matter of months due to the Hudson USA Flea Market […]
Mike Fasano Shows True Humility by Holding Up Giant Donation Check For Picture
On Wednesday, Pasco County Tax Collector Mike Fasano put his humble spirit front and center by posing with a giant donation check to the Smile […]
Jack Mariano’s Former Barber Speaks Out For First Time Since Tragic Haircut; Asks for Forgiveness
Henrico Valdez, former Port Richey barber, told media outlets Saturday that he is the one responsible for Jack Mariano’s “unfortunate” haircut nearly two decades ago. […]